It is known that wedding is a glamorous event all over the world, it however varies from region to region, culture to culture, and country to country. In fact, within the same country with different tribes, wedding is view from different perspective and different things are attached to it.
Collins English dictionary defines wedding day is as the day on which the couple get married. Online Wikipedia on wedding says, wedding is a rite where two or more people are united in marriage. Wedding cultures vary between cultures, religions, countries, social classes, different ethnicities. Most wedding ceremonies involve exchange of marital vows by couples, presentation of gifts (rings, flowers, money, dress etc.) and a public announcement of marriage by an authority figure or thee celebrants. Special clothes are usually put on the wedding day with the event in most cases followed by wedding reception. Music, poetry, reading of religious texts and prayers are commonly incorporated into the program.
Whatever it is, wedding is well accepted all over the globe, and it is one of the most reverence event in human endeavor and achievement.
Many cultures have adopted the western custom of white wedding all over the globe in which the bride puts on white dress and veil to signify purity, her chaste condition. History has it that this condition was popularized by Queen Victoria
However, the wedding that I plan to talk about here is not directly related to the physical wedding that we can see, it has some links with the spiritual wedding, which shows the condition of the people as they become attached to the Messiah, Jesus Christ when he was alive which could not be countered because it was for that he has been sent and the person who has been sent to herald his coming was the one who says this, telling all and sundry the importance of people getting to know the real groom, the real person they have been waiting for, and telling them that, he isn’t the person they are waiting for, he isn’t their messiah but he has been sent to herald his coming.
While Merriam-Webster defines bridegroom (often shortened as groom) is a man just married or about to be married and is usually attended by best-man and groomsmen. Online Wikipedia adds that bridegroom was first mentioned around 1604 being the word coined from brȳdguma (this word is a compound word from brȳd (which means bride) and guma (meaning man, hero).
This topic is drawn from the gospel according to saint John chapter 3 verse 29, however, for clarity purposes I shall talk briefly on the preceding verses.
Jesus And Nicodemus
Nicodemus was a chief among the Pharisees during his days which coincidentally was the period when Jesus was on earth in the flesh and body. He has been a secret believer and follower of Jesus all the while, however, he did not know some of the principles behind Jesus teachings thus he went to him by night, when he could not be suspected probably putting on some veils or dressing in a way that he could not easily be known and recognized by passersby or those he comes across with before getting to the abode of Jesus Christ.
“There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
“The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.” (Joh 3:1-2)
Ruler is written as “ἄρχων” in Greek while its Romanized form is archōn (pronounced as ar'-khone) which means prince, chief.
Nicodemus in Greek is written as “Νικόδημος”, the Romanized form is Nikodēmos (phonetic spelling is nik-od'-ay-mos) which means victorious among his people.
I believe there are ways of dressing of people of his caliber then, because there are ways people of his status dressed in this part of the world and when such people dressed otherwise people wouldn’t easily notice them, and if perchance anyone notices, the person would ask of what the matter is with the people of such status for dressing in that way.
Nicodemus because of what was in his heart and because he does not want to raise eyebrow, neither draw people to himself, dressed in a way that people would not easily know to cross boundaries, borders and streets to get to Jesus place, the low estate place where he was living.
Do I need to add that outside him dressing like this, there are regions where such people live? The people of timbre and quality and most of them do not live where the common people lived unlike Jesus who lives where the common people lived.
That is why today when some positive things emanated among the downtrodden, when the unexpected positive things originated from among the low-class people, the creme-de-la-creme of the society would question the possibility of such happening and sometimes if not always would do everything within their power and reach to prevent the things from seeing the light of the day.
However, when the person who has broken barriers continues to make exploits and continues to attract many people to himself and the region where he lives through his developments and un-wavered achievements that is when those (societal class people) who have been preventing his good inventions from seeing the light of the day and what ought to be his' from getting to him would back off, because they by then would know that such has come to stay and could neither be disturbed nor prevented again.
Therefore, chief Nicodemus, broke all those protocols, he did what was least unexpected of him to ensure that nothing stops him from reaching his destination which was getting to Jesus where he lives that night, in the low estate that he lives among the down-trodden and the neglected where Jesus has pitched his tent.
This could be corroborated by what Nathanael says when his brother called him that they have found the messiah, who is the Christ, he says can any good thing come from Nazareth?
"Then Jesus turned, and saw them following, and saith unto them, What seek ye? They said unto him, Rabbi, (which is to say, being interpreted, Master,) where dwellest thou? "He saith unto them, Come and see. They came and saw where he dwelt, and abode with him that day: for it was about the tenth hour. "One of the two which heard John speak, and followed him, was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother. "He first findeth his own brother Simon, and saith unto him, We have found the Messias, which is, being interpreted, the Christ. "And he brought him to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone. "The day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee, and findeth Philip, and saith unto him, Follow me. "Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. "Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. "And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see." (Joh 1:38-46)
The Greek word for “dwellest” here is “μένω”, which when Romanized becomes menō (pronounced as men'-o) which means stay, abide.
Having known where he lives, those people started contacting their friends, those whom they have been expecting the promise spoken by the prophets for long, that they have found the messiah, the Christ. It was the place where he was residing in that Philip called Nathanael to come and see, and he couldn’t but muster that, can a good thing come out of Nazareth?
Jesus would not be living among the elite, creme-de-la-creme of the society and Nicodemus seeking to meet with him at night, when no one would be able to decipher correctly who it is that passed by them.
It won’t be out of the way to say that meeting with Jesus would have been in his mind for days if not weeks before he eventually arrives at what he needs to do to break protocols to meet with Jesus under this circumstance.
Poll 1: Meeting: Have you been troubled on how to meet with Jesus over the past years?
Nicodemus Maintained Complete Secrecy
Since meeting with Jesus was a covert one, it is possible that he did not inform his wife, children and body guards of where he was going that night, because informing them may eventually result in letting the cat out of the bag.
It is being said that a secret is what one has not divulged to somebody else, but what has been spoken out either to wife or one’s best friend or whomsoever it is, cannot be called a secret again.
Such can no longer be called a secret because sooner than later the person who has been told this would also divulge the secret to someone else, telling the person to keep the word to his or her chest until that is done (assuming the word has not been carried out).
And in the case of Nicodemus, if he divulged such to his wife or anyone at that, such a person may be sympathetic to the cause of the land, the Pharisees and Sadducee and may go and tell them of what the chief wants to do, how he plans to carry it out, and they would mount surveillance at his abode, till the time he wishes to go to Jesus abode and he would be arrested, detained and excommunicated from their midst.
To prevent something like this from happening, because the man, Nicodemus knows his people quite well, he knows what they can do, he therefore, would have been making the preparations alone, perhaps getting all the needed costumes and or materials to make the trip alone without telling anyone. And on the D-day when he sees that all has been prepared and the coast cleared, he made the adventurous trip to where Jesus lives, he makes the most use of the opportunity.
Sometimes, we may equally do as Nicodemus did, keep some words to ourselves until it would be done, because presenting it before being done would attract the un-necessary to us and may make all our efforts a fruitless one.
The matter of salvation too should be considered and reconsidered closely, if you have been at a fix because of the people who surrounded you, you need to go through the path alone, come to Jesus alone, be saved alone, get saved without announcements until the time be ripe for the announcements.
Their Discussion in Brief
When he got to where Jesus lives, he told him their perception about the man, they considered him a teacher who came from God, a rare teacher.
“The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.” (Joh 3: 2)
Jesus was not concern about people's perception of him because he knows the heart of men.
"And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man." (Joh 2:25)
The concern of Jesus was satisfying God, doing what God has sent him to the world to do and complete it.
“For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.” (Joh 6:38)
When we focused our lives on what people's perception of us is, we would not make appreciable progress in life, if we make any at all.
Poll 2: What is your perception about Jesus Christ? Prophet/teacher/savior/Rather not answer
Our perception about things and what we do matter, if our perception about something is wrong we shall arrive at wrong conclusion, if our perception about a thing is right we shall make progress in that thing.
If we continue to perceive some races as animals, we shall not be able to get the goodness God has put in them out of them, but when we see all humans as one, we shall interact with them freely and would be benefited from their lives, because our minds are opened, we have positive orientation to life
In the same vein, when our perception about Jesus Christ is wrong, we shall not want to come to Jesus Christ irrespective of what people say, irrespective of how the preacher presents the message of Jesus Christ to us. We wouldn’t want to come to Jesus because our perception about him has been wrong abinitio and until we get our perception right about Jesus and the Gospel, we shall continually see the Gospel message in the wrong light.
After telling him what their perception of him was, Jesus told him that he needs to advance over that perception of him. What he needs to do to advance over that perception the Lord told him.
May I say that, Jesus here in did not say their perception about him was wrong, assuming their perception about Jesus was wrong he would at first clear that before telling him what he needs to do to advance over that perception. This is what Jesus did for the man who came to him to ask of what he would do to get to heaven, his perception about Jesus which was not right was first cleared by Jesus before telling him what he should do, but this did not happen between Jesus and Nicodemus. Let us see the example in the Gospel according to Saint Luke.
“And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
“And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God. (Luk 18:18-19)
We can see from the above example that Jesus first cleared the man's perception of him before attending to what he has come to ask from him.
However, in the case of Nicodemus presentation, Jesus in other words, appreciates their perception of him and approves it, for he was indeed a teacher he was probably saying. But added to this he told Nicodemus that he shouldn’t stop at the level which others were, that he should advance further, what he needs to do to make further advancements, taking a step ahead of others he told him.
“Jesus answered and said unto him, verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (Joh 3:3)
What Jesus told him, that “except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” was not clear to him and he make inquiries into this, he asks of what that means.
“Nicodemus saith unto him, how can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?” (Joh 3:4)
It is no lie that this word too is not clear to many people in the world today and except we know this our perception of the Gospel and Jesus would be wrong.
Poll 3: Meaning: Do you know what it means to be born again?
Jesus told Nicodemus what being born again means in a language that is clear to him. He explained what he meant by being born again using one of the incidents in the wilderness which unarguably would be in their historical books, which Nicodemus himself would have been using to teach people.
What incident was that? The Israelites spoke against Prophet Moses and God in the wilderness and this grieved God such that he sent fiery serpents among the people to bite them, and whomsoever the fiery serpent bit, would die, there was no antidote, no antivenom drugs that could prevent those bitten from dying.
“And the people spake against God, and against Moses, wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread.
“And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.” (Num 21:5-6)
As the people continue dying, some of them saw their folly and returned to Prophet Moses to ask for forgiveness. Prophet Moses contacted God to appeal to God on their behalf, God answered him and told him to make a brazen serpent for them, that anyone bitten by the serpent who could look at the brazen serpent raised up would live.
“Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people.
“And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live.” (Num 21:7-8)
Prophet Moses did what the Lord said, “and Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.” (Num 21:9)
Jesus told Nicodemus this incident that as Prophet Moses lifts serpent in the wilderness so shall the son of man be lifted soon, for all humans to be beholding and anyone who could behold the son of man would live as those people lived in the wilderness after beholding the brazen serpent.
“And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:
“That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” (Joh 3:14-15)
All humans have sinned, and we are in the position the Israelites were in the wilderness, thus, God has decided to raise the son of man, Jesus up for all to behold so that anyone who beholds the raised son of man would not perish.
Jesus emphasizes to him the importance of acting like those bitten by the fiery serpent in the wilderness acted after being bitten by the fiery serpent to Nicodemus, that if anyone could act like that, such a one would be saved, such a one would have eternal life.
The word believe in this verse is “πιστεύω” in Greek which when Romanized becomes pisteuō (pronounced as pist-yoo'-o) which means “to have faith”, “commit trust in”
Jesus by this word was telling him the position of those who looked at the brazen serpent in the wilderness. Their position was that they had faith in the word Prophet Moses spoke unto them, it is by their faith that they could look unto the serpent and be delivered from the poison of the snake in their blood stream.
He in other words was telling him that to be born again he needs to exercise a somewhat faith in what he was telling him, for without faith it is impossible to please God.
As those in the wilderness played their part in their deliverance, Jesus was telling Nicodemus too that he has a part to play in being born again, and the part expected of him to play is as he is hearing him speak unto him he needs to exercise his faith in what he is hearing so that he would be saved.
This he said is applicable to anyone who dares to exercise the faith by looking unto the son of man for his or her salvation.
Though the son of man wasn’t sent into the world to condemn the world, but he has been sent to save the people of the world. However, if anyone becomes recalcitrant, and refuses to accept the Gospel, such a one is under the wrath of God, because he makes God a liar by not believing in him.
“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” (Joh 3:18)
Those who make God a liar, are already condemned, their judgement has been passed all they are waiting for is that they be carried out.
It is like a person who kills another person and the person knows what the law says that anyone who kills another person would be killed. After killing the person and the person was taken to the court of law, the judges found the person guilty and sentenced him accordingly, but before the sentence be carried out, the person would be remanded into prison custody. That is how those people who have not accepted the sent son of man is before God, they are already sentenced to death before God, but they are still living, walking on the surface of the earth and waiting for the time when they would leave the world and enter eternal punishment.
Poll 4: Consideration: Are you still making God a liar? Yes no
You shouldn’t belong to the class of people who are still making God a liar again so that you won’t enter eternal damnation, because those who made the prophet a liar by not obeying what he said died because they made the prophet a jester and by extension God a liar.
What Led to The Word (or Topic)?
This in brief was the discussion of Jesus with Nicodemus. After this discussion and their parting, the author of the book of John says, Jesus and his disciples left for Judea. At the place they stayed there for a while and there, his disciples baptized some people who believed in their gospel.
Having seen some things about the preceding verses of this chapter, the following verses show us in sequential order what brought about this topic.
(i) Jesus’ Disciples Baptizing People
It was discovered that Jesus though not baptizing people himself, but he followed his disciples to Judea and there the disciples of Jesus were baptizing some people. We shall recall that some of the disciples of Jesus were once followers of John the Baptist. Thus, those people may have drawn their baptism from the pattern of John the Baptist whom they were following before.
“After these things came Jesus and his disciples into the land of Judaea; and there he tarried with them, and baptized.” (Joh 3:22)
Jesus being with them may equally be showing them one or two things about how to baptize too, or maybe he followed them there to see it for himself how they would be baptizing people. Why he was with them was clearly unstated in the bible, but a leader who wants his subjects to know something would equally follow them to where they want to do the practical to tell them where they have erred and what they have done that is good would be commended.
A leader who cannot follow his subjects to the field is not a good leader, most especially his subjects who are yet learning the art.
Jesus was with them to show them one or two things about baptism.
On the other hand, as we know that Jesus was an itinerant minister, he may have been there with them because they have made a stop over by the river side while entering Judea, and there when people who profess their believe in Jesus gathered together, the disciples started baptizing those people.
Good leaders usually look forward to those who will take after him or her, a good leader who does not have one or more of his followers taken after him is not good.
Jesus being a good leader and a friend, decides to stand by his followers while they were demonstrating what they have learnt. But he himself was not baptizing people as the author says in the following chapter.
“When therefore the Lord knew how the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John,
“(Though Jesus himself baptized not, but his disciples,)” (Joh 4:1-2)
However, those who saw the disciples of Jesus and known that Jesus would be there with them thought Jesus too has started baptizing people like John the Baptist, not many of them knew that he wasn’t the one who is directly involved in the act of baptizing the people.
Poll 5: Friendship: Have you considered making Jesus your friend?
It is good if you can make Jesus Christ your friend, I want to tell you that you won’t be disappointed if you can make him your friend, he is a friend who sticks closer than a sibling.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Pro 18:24)
He is a friend who will always be there for you and with you, he is a friend who will always help you. You can make him a friend by accepting him into your heart today.
(ii) John the Baptist’s Ministry Continues
The author of the book wants us to know that when this incident happened John the Baptist was equally baptizing but at another place, they were concurrently working but at different ends, not at the same place.
As his ministry continues, which was baptizing the people and showing them who Jesus really was it was discovered that he has moved to another location, away from river Jordan where he has earlier been baptizing to Aenon and was baptizing people there.
“And John also was baptizing in Aenon near to Salim, because there was much water there: and they came, and were baptized.” (Joh 3:23)
Aenon in Greek word is “Αἰνών”, Romanized form is Ainōn (pronounced as ahee-nohn') which is said to be a place of the springs, in the land of Palestine.
Baptism requires more water, because it involves immersion in the water, thus, John the Baptist chooses where water was plenty to do his work.
Poll 6: Baptism: Which type of baptism did you do? Immersion Sprinkling None
(iii) This Time Shouldn’t Be Misconstrued
To avoid ambiguity and misconstruing by readers, Saint John who wrote this epistle states it in clear terms that as at this time that John the Baptist was carrying this out, he was yet to be yet to be apprehended by Herod the king then, for he was still spiritually and physically active. He was yet a free man and there are people going to him from different quarters to be baptized and asking him questions on who real prophet was, who the Messiah was.
“For John was not yet cast into prison.” (Joh 3:24)
When a person’s time is not yet over, he will still be active in his office, but when the time of a man is over, he wouldn’t be active in his office again, for he would be displaced by the people who have been appointed to replace him. He may though still be living, but practically speaking the person would have been displaced by God.
John however knows that the messiah has started his ministry and thus, his ministry would be on downward trend while the Messiah’s ministry would be on the upward trend. This does not bug him because he knows he is moving towards the tail end of his ministry.
Let us endeavor to patiently wait for our time, each person has his or her own fullest time, it is through patience that we can enter the phase.
Jesus has paid the sacrifice, he has patiently waited for him to complete his own circle, he has patiently waited for him to finish his ministry on earth.
(iv) Jews Love Clarifications
Jews do not joke with their religion, they would do anything to ensure that they broaden their knowledge on what they know. To broaden their knowledge and avoid confusion, when they were with the disciples of John, they started discussing about what purification really means. They wanted to know their disposition about purification.
“Then there arose a question between some of John's disciples and the Jews about purifying.” (Joh 3:25)
This discussion arose between them because they considered John the Baptist a prophet, and they believed he would have taught his disciples many things, thus, they want to rub minds together on that word, purification which is one of the key topics that they cannot escape in the land.
Purifying in Hebrew is “καθαρισμός”, Romanized form is katharismos (pronounced as kath-ar-is-mos') which means washing off, ablution.
This purification was one of the tenets handed over to them by prophet Moses on what to do and what not to do before performing some spiritual rites.
Since John the Baptist has been showing them the way and telling them some of the things they should avoid if they want to get to heaven, he has been calling on all and sundry through his preaching to repent because the Kingdom of God is nigh by.
“In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea,
“And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Mat 3:1-2)
This was the kind of preaching they have been hearing from him, but they also wanted to know his mind on purification, being one of the prophets of their dispensation they wanted to know what he has in mind for them through this.
However, because of his work, they have accosted his disciples to sample his opinion on what prophet Moses said through them. Therefore, they started talking to know if they have a divergent view to what the great prophet says, or they were in agreement with what the ancient prophet has taught their parents which were handed to them.
They also could have raised this with the disciples of John the Baptist because they saw what John the Baptist was doing as a form of cleansing, purification, and would want to know his teachings with his disciples on this.
As John’s disciples were discussing and interacting with those people, it is likely that they have chipped in the matter of Jesus and his disciples as they have been found baptizing people at Judea. Jesus hasn’t been baptizing before well as far as they can tell, but now that they see this, they raised it with John the Baptist’s disciples that they saw Jesus too and his disciples baptizing people.
After bringing the attention of the disciples of John to this, they may have left them. After leaving the disciples of John the Baptist while with him raised the matter with their master.
(v) Disciples of John the Baptist Briefed Him
John the Baptist disciples got to him and they discussed with him what had transpired between them and the Jews. After telling them this, they told him what those people said and what they noticed happening as people were seen going to where Jesus and his disciples were baptizing there instead of them to be coming to their master John.
“And they came unto John, and said unto him, Rabbi, he that was with thee beyond Jordan, to whom thou barest witness, behold, the same baptizeth, and all men come to him.” (Joh 3:26)
A good follower would learn to update his master or mistress what he or she notices, he would brief his master of what he heard people say about him or the management of the company so that a solution would be found to the problem if it is a problem and if it is not something to worry about the leader would clear the air on this.
It is disturbing today that some of us when we are following leaders, we wouldn’t want to tell him what we have learnt about him, we want to stand alone when we are yet under the tutelage of that leader.
(vi) His Response Was in Illustrated Fashion
He thanked them for what they noticed and put them in remembrance of what he has told them earlier. What he told them earlier he brought back into their remembrance in an illustrative manner.
1. Earlier Discussion
He replied his disciples that prior that time if they could recollect, he has told them that he was not the Christ, he was not the Messiah, but he has been sent to announce the Messiah.
“John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
“Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.” (Joh 3: 27-28)
What he was telling them wasn’t fresh, wasn’t new, it may however be new to those who are freshly becoming his follower, but for those who have been his staunch follower over the years, what John the Baptist said wasn’t new to them. Shall we see where he makes that assertion?
“And this is the record of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, Who art thou?
“And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ.
“And they asked him, what then? Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not. Art thou that prophet? And he answered, No.
“Then said they unto him, who art thou? that we may give an answer to them that sent us. What sayest thou of thyself?
“He said, I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord, as said the prophet Esaias.
“And they which were sent were of the Pharisees.
“And they asked him, and said unto him, why baptizest thou then, if thou be not that Christ, nor Elias, neither that prophet?
“John answered them, saying, I baptize with water: but there standeth one among you, whom ye know not;
“He it is, who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose.
“These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing.
“The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
“This is he of whom I said, after me cometh a man which is preferred before me: for he was before me.
“And I knew him not: but that he should be made manifest to Israel, therefore am I come baptizing with water.” (Joh 1:19-31)
He told them what he has said unto them earlier and as the characters of many if not all the prophets in the land of Israel was, speaking in parables and or illustrative wise so that it would sink into their minds, he also gave them illustration of the unfolding events after taken them down the memory lane.
2. In Times Past, Grooms May Not be Known
People sometimes may not know who the real groom was in the land, perhaps if the groom lives at another town, perhaps if the groom’s work is a tedious one that hardly leaves him time to see his spouse, perhaps if the maiden has been betrothed to the man by his parents.
These are common those days, unlike now that such is not common again.
But for clearer understanding of this, we consider how Father Abraham asked his servant to get wife for his son, Isaac. We shall recall that the groom that the servant of Abraham wanted to marry Rebecca for was neither seen nor known by either Rebekah or her people. (Gen 24)
In this part of the land, intermediary is common those days, it is through an intermediary that many of our old parents got their spouses, because they wouldn’t want their child to be married to a person whose family or lineage is a thief, arrogant and who possess all other forms of diseases.
Thus, the use of intermediary is common to help the maiden or the guy look for a good guy or lady from a responsible family, because it was believed that a good family would always produce good children as the bible says, “even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” (Mat 7:17-18)
The trees are the parents or families while the fruits are the children in the context of our ancient parents in this part of the world.
May I say that as we have human intermediaries those days in the present time, we also have few Christian dating sites, who some believers have attested to their works. It is not all dating sites that are good for Christian singles as some of them are full of pornography and nude photos, therefore a single christian brother or sister should be careful of those sites that would water down the spirit of God in him or her.
Having said this, may I say that, I see some of the social media sites as intermediaries between spinsters and bachelors, because through the media you can meet each other and develop rapport and with prayers you can censor the person you want to be involved with even before meeting. This is also one of the good aspects of the internet as far as I can tell, as some people have testified to it helping them finding their partners in the world.
Therefore, a spinster who has been betrothed to a bachelor through this forum, people would not know whom their spouse is until when they be wedded.
John the Baptist may have made the illustration of Father Abraham’s son, Isaac, that he was an unknown groom to his disciples while answering them, that the groom becomes known when he got wedded to his wife, Rebecca.
When Abraham was getting close to the time he would give up the ghost and after the demise of her wife, Sarah, the mother of Isaac, he called the eldest servant of his house, the name of whom we have known earlier to be “Eliezer of Damascus”, and told him to go and look for wife for his son, Isaac. (Gen 15:2; 24:2)
Eliezer sets out on the journey and got “to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.” (Gen 24:10d) It was in this city that this man gets wife for isaac, but neither the lady nor her parents knew the guy, but they knew the guy’s parents, though it had been ages that they had separated.
A story or an illustration as this may have been shared by the prophet with his disciples and perhaps other related stories to buttress his point with them, that the groom would be known on the wedding day as he says,
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
We know that it wasn’t all that happened that the bible recorded according to what John said in the last chapter that, “and there are also many other things … which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” (Joh 21:25)
After the intermediary has played his or her part another thing that may make people not to know the real groom is the best man.
(a) Similar Dressing by Groom and Best-Man
Online Wikipedia says that the style of bridegroom’s clothing could be influenced by several factors, including time of the day, location of the event, ethnic backgrounds of the spouses and the type of the wedding, whether it is armed forces or traditional hunters type as found in my land.
Therefore, in the modern day wedding we know that the best man and the groom usually puts on the same dress, thus this may also confuse people as to who the real groom is, much so for those who have not known the groom before getting to the venue of the wedding.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
The friend of the bride as stated here by John the Baptist to his disciples could be viewed as the best man in modern day wedding ceremonies.
An example of a similar case happened in the bible, during the days that the judges ruled in Israel, although it wasn’t stated that the companion of the person has the same dressing as the person, but this may likely be so. The person who has a similar wedding ceremony as this was Samson the mighty man. Shall we see briefly the account from the book of judges’ chapter 14?
“But Samson's wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.” (Jdg 14:20)
The word companion here is a Hebrew word written as “מרע”, the Romanized form is mêrêa‛ (phonetic spelling is may-ray'-ah) which means a friend.
He perhaps sets the platform for the use of best man and retinue while doing wedding. However, his companions were all philistines and that was one of his chief errors he does not have an iota of faith in his own people.
“And it came to pass, when they saw him, that they brought thirty companions to be with him.” (Jdg 14:11)
The thirty companions which are stated here could be viewed in the present-day wedding event as groom’s men, for so are they called. But all of them were non-Israelis, this would be discovered in the riddle he puts forward to them and how those people used his wife to entice him to tell them what the riddle means lest they destroy the lady and her entire household.
“And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty sheets and thirty change of garments:
“But if ye cannot declare it me, then shall ye give me thirty sheets and thirty change of garments. And they said unto him, put forth thy riddle, that we may hear it.
“And he said unto them, out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. And they could not in three days expound the riddle.
“And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they said unto Samson's wife, entice thy husband, that he may declare unto us the riddle, lest we burn thee and thy father's house with fire: have ye called us to take that we have? is it not so?
“And Samson's wife wept before him, and said, thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a riddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell it thee?
“And she wept before him the seven days, while their feast lasted: and it came to pass on the seventh day, that he told her, because she lay sore upon him: and she told the riddle to the children of her people.” (Jdg 14:12-17)
When we make the children of our known enemies our friends as Samson did here, we shall die like a fool.
Samson made the children of his enemies his friends, and he regrets the action for the wife whom he thought loves her was eventually married to his best man after he left, and he has nothing to show for it.
(b) People Can be Confused
Therefore, the best man for the similar dress being put on, may bring confusion along the path of people who have not known whom the real groom is on getting to the venue of the wedding on the wedding day.
In a situation like this the people who gathered at the venue of the wedding would be confused, just as the people were getting confused about the role of John the Baptist in baptizing people and telling them about Jesus.
The Israelis have been expecting the messiah for long, and when John the Baptist arrived the scene and started doing what was strange, what an ordinary person cannot do, they started thinking he was the messiah, but he told them that he wasn’t, however, he has been sent to tell them who the messiah was for that was the reason why he was given birth to.
“The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
“This is he of whom I said, after me cometh a man which is preferred before me: for he was before me.
“And I knew him not: but that he should be made manifest to Israel, therefore am I come baptizing with water.” (Joh 1:29-31)
(c) At The Wedding Day
John the Baptist was saying in his illustration that however on the wedding day, before all and sundry who gathered to witness the wedding, the confusion would be cleared because the groom would be revealed, and the best man would be revealed.
Those who will join the couple together wouldn’t make mistake of joining the best man with the bride, and there and then the groom would be revealed to all who are in the oblivion concerning who the groom is.
The wedding day here-in does not mean the physical gathering together of groom, wife and others, neither would there be any physical joining together between the groom and bride as we all know of about wedding ceremony, pronouncing the man and the lady as husbands and wife officially by the officiating ministers, but the joining herein involves the people who gathered to listen to the Messiah.
When they started seeing many Jews going to him more than they have been coming to him, prophet John was telling his followers that they should know that, that is the person he has been talking about all this while, that is the person of whom he had abinitio testifies that he is the Messiah, that he has been before him and he is the person the books of the Prophets and everyone ahead of him has been talking about and telling them to expect. That is the groom, he emphatically stated.
John the Baptist is telling them that now that the groom and the bride have been known by people there should neither be confusions again nor any form of argument.
(d) Who is The Bride?
Those who the John the Baptist was addressing know what he was saying but for those of us reading this we may be a bit confused as to who the bride herein in this illustration was by one of the greatest Prophets (men) who ever lived according to Jesus Christ’s statement.
“Verily I say unto you, among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.” (Mat 11:11)
The bride according to John the Baptist in this illustration he was sharing with his disciples is not a singular lady being joined to a groom, but “the bride” are many people who are gathered before the Messiah listening to him.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
Many people have been coming from far and near, from all walks of life, to where John the Baptist was to hear him speak unto them because for centuries the Jews have been without a definitive Prophet until John the Baptist was given birth to. When he was given birth to, and he started his ministration, people know that the prophet has come, and they come from distant places to listen to him because his news has been shared abroad to those who weren’t where he was.
This may be part of the reason why he went to Aenon to go and baptize people there, leaving the headquarters of his ministry so to say.
His disciples on seeing that the numbers of people gathering before Jesus to hear him speak are on the increase therefore brought that case to him that people are gathering around him more than they are coming to John the Baptist.
They are thus on the same platform of discussion, no erring there and he also makes the matter simple for them, that those gathered there are the bride.
(e) Getting to Know The Groom
It would be of import to also know whom the groom is from this word of the prophet. The groom here is the person the people gathered to listen to his word, the groom is the person who has more congregation now, as his congregation started going down.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
The disciples of John the Baptist knew at once that he was telling them that Jesus is the groom while he was the groom’s best man
And now that the people are now getting to know whom the groom really is, they would shift their attention and their focus from him, the best man, to the real groom, because he has the word of life, he has the original word from God to them, for he is the one who would lead them to their desired haven, delivering them from the rulership of Roman which was what they taught the Messiah would come and do for them, but in oblivion of it that the Messiah wouldn’t do that, but he would be given birth to, to deliver them from a more serious trouble, which is the nature of sin in their lives and the lives of the entire human race.
“And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.” (Mat 1:21)
“The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.” (Joh 1:29)
Jesus Christ is the groom the Prophet was referring to here and the people, his disciples listening to him did get the message right.
Poll 7: Bride: Are you one of the brides of Jesus?
Jesus is the groom and those who believed in him are his bride as attested to by the apostle in his epistle to the Ephesians.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” (Eph 5:23)
The author equates the physical husband (or groom) which Christ here. Christ is the groom and the church, those who believe in Jesus are his bride. If you are yet to be one of his brides, you must today by accepting Jesus into your heart, to join those who are the brides of the Lamb.
“And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.” (Rev 21:9)
When you become one of the brides of Christ, you will also say as others are saying that, “Come quickly darling groom!”
“And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” (Rev 22:17)
(f) Outcome of This Development
A good leader should know the characters of his subjects, followers, he should be able to decipher where their thoughts originated from as from the questions asked him and should be able to drive them to where their thought is going to.
Prophet John did not miss this, he addressed where their thought originated from and where their thought could drive them to. Some of the things the prophet addressed are as follow:
(i) Asked Them Not to be Envious
John the Baptist notices that his disciples were envious for him as an unnamed young man and Joshua were for Prophet Moses when they were in the wilderness. Expectedly, that is what good followers behave, he did not chide them for this, but told them what his view about this is.
“And there ran a young man, and told Moses, and said, Eldad and Medad do prophesy in the camp.
“And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of Moses, one of his young men, answered and said, my lord Moses, forbid them.
“And Moses said unto him, enviest thou for my sake? would God that all the LORD'S people were prophets, and that the LORD would put his spirit upon them!” (Num 11:27-29)
The Hebrew word for envy here is “קנא”, the Romanized form is qânâ' (phonetic spelling is kaw-naw') which could also mean jealous, being zealous.
His disciples were being envious for him, he could see that in their reaction and in the manner for which they brought the report unto him and he says they needed not to do that for him, because it is what has been stated, it is what he has been expecting to happen, he must increase, while he be decreased.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (Joh 3:30)
He doused the tension in the hearts of his followers as prophet Moses did do unto Joshua and the unnamed Israeli who ran to inform them of what was happening in the camp. John the Baptist told them that they should neither be confused nor be envious for him because as far as he is concerned, he is happy with the development as a real and genuine best man.
(ii) Told Them His Feelings
He told them that it is the joy of a genuine best man is to see the groom and the bride joined together and when they have been joined together such a companion would be enormously happy for the development because that has been his dreams and prayers seeing both joined to each other, and well before his eyes, those dreams are fulfilled.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
Poll 8: Companion: Are you a genuine companion?
A genuine companion is the one who would bring partners together, the person who would not act like Samson’s companion and take away the bride later. You and I should be a good companion we should always lead people to Jesus.
(iii) He Expected This to be Theirs
A leader would share his minds with his followers, expecting that they would take a cue from what he is telling them. John shared his mind with his followers in view of them taking after him because if they could open him up and see what is running through his mind, they would see that he is enormously happy with the development, because that has been his age long dream since the time he started his ministry.
“And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.” (Joh 1:33)
He did not lose focus, because at the inception he has been told by the spirit that he has been sent so that he would tell the naïve people who the real Messiah was.
Many a one loses focus today, we leave the substance for the shadow we start pursuing what is wrong what we shouldn’t pursue, but this wasn’t the case with John the Baptist, he was purposeful and focused.
(g) The Type of Joy
Having told them that he is happy with the development, we shall see from the verse that, the kind of happiness the prophet told them that fills his heart were two kinds. Let us see those kinds as expressed in this text.
(i) Great Joy
The kind of joy that will fill the heart of a sincere and true best man is an exceeding joy a complete joy.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
Rejoice in Greek word as above is “χαίρω”, Romanized form is chairō (pronounced as khah'ee-ro) which means happy, joy, glad.
The word greatly here is “χαρά” in Greek and the Romanized form is chara (pronounced as khar-ah') which means full, exceeding.
He was telling them that as far as he can tell, very deep within him he has joy that is beyond their expectations, he is enormously happy for the development.
Poll 9: Heart’s Position: What is the position of your heart when you are seeing others in your field making rapid progress? Sad Happy Rather Not Answer
No one can lead forever, everyone has his or her time, when you are seeing others in the same filed making progress, do not be envious of them, do not start cast aspersions at their lifestyles and careers because you want to bring them down, you need to be happy for their happiness and their progress, you undoubtedly cannot stay on the fence, because if you are not happy for and with them, it means you are sad and sorrowful and anyone who behaves like this can be equated to a person in the bible called Cain, he was sad for what the Lord did unto his brother and what he did afterwards was killing him.
“But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.” (Gen 4:5)
Thus, if you are sad and sorrowful because others by your side are making advancements, it means death lives in you and you will be seeking for means of killing the person in no distant time like did Cain. God doesn’t want this from you, and thus, he has ensured that you will read this so that you would repent and turn a new leaf. Know ye that the person who has done that for the person is God and he could do far greater than what he has done for him for you if you can be at peace within your mind with your colleagues making progress.
“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” (Eph 3:20)
Do not lose hope, it is not over for and with you, God still has you in his mind for you are apple of his eyes.
John the Baptist was happy and that enormously, the happiness couldn’t be described for the development to Jesus.
(ii) Fulfilling Joy
Another thing that we shall found in the verse is about the type of joy the prophet has is that the joy is a gratifying one in nature. There are some happiness or joy that are not satisfying in nature. They are not satisfying because they do not last long, it is what is temporary that usually isn’t fulfilling neither gratifying in nature, but anything that is permanent would always be gratifying and fulfilling.
John the Baptist knows that what is happening is a last longing development, it is not a temporary thing, and this makes him have a fulfilling kind of joy.
“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.” (Joh 3:29)
The word fulfilled here is Greek word which is “πληρόω”, Romanized foirm is plēroō (pronounced as play-ro'-o) which means satisfied, accomplished, complete.
The man has a complete joy because his friend’s desire is being fulfilled and he is a part of the history of the fulfilment.
You can also have a complete joy in the Lord Jesus Christ when you come to him and give your life unto him. You will have joy here and, in the world, beyond. Think about this.
Conclusion, John the Baptist told his disciples that he being the one introducing Jesus to others is happy and fulfilled that Jesus is becoming known among the people, that the people he is introducing Jesus to are now following him, for that is why he has been begotten to reveal the identity of Jesus to the world. Jesus is the groom while those who gathered to listen to him were the brides, his joy is great and fulfilled because the development is not a transient one, it is not what would develop now and vanish later.
We are also begotten to tell the world the way to heaven, we are also begotten to tell the world to leave their ways of sin and embrace the gospel for in doing so would they find happiness, in doing so would their hearts be at rest. As we also do this and see people following Jesus, we shall have a satisfying joy.
Quiz for Personal Assessment
1. Whose best man eventually married his wife in the bible? (a) Moses (b) Isaac (c) Eliezer (d) Samson
2. Who are those baptizing at Judea (a) Jesus and his disciples (b) Jesus alone (c) Jesus’ disciples alone (d) John the Baptist
3. An example of an unknown groom until the wife was brought was (a) Jacob (b) Jesus (c) Isaac (d) Abraham
4. John the Baptist was baptizing at this river (a) Jordan (b) Aenon (c) Salim (d) Judea
5. John the Baptist has told his followers earlier that (a) He was the Messiah (b) I am not the Christ (c) Groom (d) Best man
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