"In our culture we value virginity so much, and I have been raised by a diligent mother, who is married to a pastor. The church to which my parent belong is one of the biggest denominations in our republic.
As the job of my father is, shepherding the flocks of God, the denomination to which we belong used to transfer him to different islands within the republic. Because of this I know different islands in the republic because whenever my father is transferred, the family will move along with him, for his wife cannot and must not leave him so that he will not be exposed to dangers of women while counseling women and ladies in the new island he has been transferred to.
It has been said that man that cannot control his organ should be married and ditto for a woman who cannot control her organ so that they will not indulge in infidelity, for the Lord hates it.
The headship of the denomination to which we are attending has studied and known the gift of God in my father’s life, thence, he often is transferred to troubled zones of the denomination to bring normalcy into the zone and churches.
In all the Islands where my father has been transferred to, I used to have suitors there because I am a beauty to behold, it is God’s gift to me.
However, despite having different suitors in all the islands that we have been transferred to, I have kept myself, having told myself from my early teenage years, when my mother has explained to me the reasons why I need to keep myself on the first occasion that I saw my menstruation, I have kept to her words strictly that I will not know any man until I except the person I shall marry, a cutlass usually has one sharp edge, not two like swords.
Having made this decision, God also backed me up in this decision and he has been protecting me, even at deadly spots and zones of the different islands that we have been to, where guys used to harass ladies.
As we are been moved to different places, my parents ensure that my education was not affected, thus, I completed my High School and gained admission into the university.
As good thing cannot be hidden, so is my beauty glittering like gold, and I cannot be hidden from people. This I have backed up with good morals as my mother has said, beauty is nothing but good morals would endear a lady to the heart of her husband for ever.
Students like me started noticing me and it was not long that I received proposals of love from my peers and two young lecturers. One out of the two young lecturers who proposed to me is from my department, while the second person is not from my department. Both of them were writing their PhD thesis.
After these people who have proposed to me, who I was still reflecting upon came another young guy. I thus added them to the list of those I am sieving, and I was able to sieve off some of them until I was left with the person who proposed last and one of the lecturers.
The lecturer having finished his PhD was offered a job in one of the Universities outside the republic, and he rushed to me to talk to me that we need to settle our love affair and travel out together, for he says, “he does not want to go and marry unknown person in another man’s land”.
When he says this, my heart becomes relived, because I know I wont be traveling with him, thence, I was left with the newest guy who proposed to me last.
I told the lecturer that there is nothing to settle that he should go his way that God will prosper his ways.
That was how I conclusively parted with him and was left with only one guy.
This guy is hardworking, whom I thought had finished his university degree but unknown to me that he did not finish from the university.
When I got to know this, I concluded that degree does not make a home as I brushed aside the case of his degree.
Albeit, I discovered one day that he is an alcohol addict on discovering this, I severed the relationship with him. He cried and wailed that he will change his way of living that he does not want to lose me.
He started showing signs that he has changed his way of living, and the love I had for him again covered my eyes and I had to give him a second chance in my life, trusting that his life has truly been touched by Jehovah.
This love continues and everything was perfectly moving and I was enjoying him, we were enjoying every bit of the relationship.
Because he is yet to find his feet financially, we decided to do a low-keyed wedding which my parents supported because it is not the noise that is made during the wedding day that makes a home, but the lives we live after being wedded is what matters.
After the wedding, God blessed our union and I took in, but at the end of the second month of my pregnancy, the pregnancy got aborted. This happened about thrice until God cuts off the enemies’ hands on my uterus and body.
After I took in, I discovered that my spouse who claimed that God has touched his life has returned to his former way of life, as he now returns home drunk.
“What is happening?” I asked him one day that he returned home drunk again, and he apologized to me that he will not do that again saying it is the work of the devil.
However, he continues in the act and this makes me report him to the pastor of the church we are attending and then discussed his case with my father.
Their responses to me was that I should keep praying for him so that God will touch his heart.
I said to myself, this means I have entered one chance bus.
In the stead of him to change he did not change but continued in this way of life and it grew worse.
I was tired of my life, after all these waiting, after all the dedications, the disciplines, the sacrifices, the screenings, I discovered that I still made a wrong choice. Truly marital is “market of darkness” I said to myself, why could I not decipher his nature?
As I reflect on the past, I remembered my father’s statement when I took him to him as my spouse, he asked me why I have not chosen one of the rich guys who have been troubling me. My response to him was I did not know the source of their wealth and do not want to fall into someone whose source of wealth is demonic.
He sighed after hearing this, but would tell me that I should have another thought about them, especially the lecturer.
But I replied that the lecturer is too blunt and he will not allow me to have a say if I be married to him.
He did not tell me what he sees or knows other than I should ensure I pray very well before I conclude with him, adding that when I am married there would be nothing to caution anyone then, it is during the period of courtship that one can correct and caution his or her partner he emphasized. I remember his words clearly now, “always know that a character a person doesn’t possess years ago the person cannot possess it suddenly”, he said and left talking with me on the issue of marriage.
Now, I am alone, tears dropping from my eyes, who will save me from this one chance bus that I have entered? I have started an endless cry, I never prayed for this kind of life, I did not hope for this kind of life, but lo, it has come on me, I am regretting my choice in marriage…
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